Sunday morning and the park is humming with activity; dads playing football with young sons, old ladies in Sunday best heading for Church and young girls giggling with schoolgirl friends. And here I am, aimlessly wandering along the leafy paths, unsure where they are heading, unsure where my life is heading - if I don't know where I am going now then what about next week or next year?

"We can't carry on as we are, just drifting along," Greg had said. "All relationships have to move forward." Or finish is what he should have added but we were both too afraid to admit it. Why does it have to be like that though, I'm happy with the way things are and I don't see a need to ruin it all by changing. I thought Greg felt that way too. I thought he understood my need for my own independence, my own space and my own life. Until last night that was, until he threatened to ruin it all by trying to push me into something I`m not sure I'm ready for, not after making that mistake before, before I even knew Greg. Our life, our relationship is in danger of falling apart, why is he risking it all by wanting more? More than I may he able to give him.

"Why are you so scared. Zoe? What is it you're frightened of?" he had asked me quietly.

"I'm not scared," I had replied defiantly. "I just don't see the need for me to move in, aren`t you happy with the way things are? Don't you need your space too?"

"We can still have our own space - we don't have to change."

I'm not so sure - living together is bound to involve us changing, compromising our freedom, tied to each other 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I know, I've been there before.

A couple stroll past hand in hand. He reminds me of Tony, immaculate and well-dressed, whilst she seems to hang on to his every word. I wonder if he is slowly undermining her self-confidence like Tony did to me. I still feel bitter and angry for the way he changed me and forced me to lose all my self-respect. Four years ago and he's still affecting my life and my future. Four years since I finally plucked up the courage to leave him and rebuild my life, my hopes and my future.

He changed so much once we moved in together, once the novelty of facing each other across the breakfast table every morning wore thin. Little by little he wore down my defences and wore down my own personality. The few friends who didn't desert me watched me change from a girl sure of her direction into a shadow of her former self. I felt worthless and unsure of myself. Finally I realised I had to get out. So desperate to leave I walked away with nothing - not even my self-respect.

"You think things will turn out like they did with Tony, don't you?" Greg looked hurt and desperately unhappy. "Can`t you see I would never do that to you'? I love you. I respect you. Oh, what`s the point? 'You think history would repeat itself and, without taking that step, I can't prove things would be any different. So where does that leave us, Zoe? We have to move on or" Thank goodness he didn't say it.

"But it doesn't have to be like that, nothing has to change does it? Can't we just leave things as they are?" I was almost pleading with him, but I had to make him see that now, after building up my confidence again, I couldn't risk losing it like before.

"So what happens? We just carry on like this until we're old and grey, living separately, together yet apart. What about a future, our future? We can live together but still have our own independence. I wouldn't expect either of us to give up our freedom. I admire the person you are, not the person I want you to be."

Greg had left the room then, leaving his words hanging in the air. Could we live together and still be the same people'? Would he expect me to give up all I had struggled to achieve? My career, my friends and my opinions? I had worked hard to build it all up again once I left Tony. The job I had lost interest in. the friends he had forced me to neglect and the opinions he had ridiculed; would it all crumble again?

As I watch a group of young girls w ander desperately casually towards a group of boys - both parties intent on impressing each other - I think back to myself at that age. I was so sure of where I was going, confident that life held all the opportunities I was looking for and ready to grab them with both hands. I didn't realise then how dependence on a man could undermine your future, even once that man was part of a dim and distant past. Tony is just a memory now, just a bitter episode in my life.

I've achieved so much since then, my career is rocketing forward, challenging and exciting. My friends, who were loyally waiting to pick up the pieces, now remain positive and hopeful and my opinions, hopes and ambitions are stronger and more positive than ever.

And there's Greg, my rock in a frantic world. He's always there to act as a steadying influence or as a reckless and impulsive character; fun yet practical, outrageous yet sober, dependable yet irresponsible and above all, always supportive. Would it all change?

All relationships have to move on, he had said. Develop, I suppose, mature and grow as we both mature and grow. Is it possible for us to do that? Would our relationship stifle our own individual ambitions? Would our individual hopes and dreams fade into insignificance or flourish within our partnership?

Another couple are ahead of me now, sitting on a park bench, huddled together against the brisk wind. As they stand up and walk toxwards the park gates I notice their companionship as well as love. Would Greg and I still be talking like we do now when we have been living together for a while? Perhaps, in time, we would simply run out of things to say to each other. Perhaps if we fight to maintain our own interests as well as establishing joint interests then we should still remain individuals within the relationship. It would be hard work but it would be fun too, wouldn't it? I've fought hard to get where I am today and I'm proud of my success. We'd have to work hard to have a relationship we could both be proud of but it could be done - I'm sure of it.

I don't know what the future holds and neither does Greg but as long as we're heading in the same direction and supporting each other we might stand a good chance of making it. So it's with resolution and determination that I turn around and head back towards Greg's house - our house. I'm going home.