Have you ever felt you aren`t wanted? by those little wretches who you would like to be your playmates?

I know this fee1ing only too well, as they look at me and turn away because I am fat and awkward. Spoil their games because I'm not quick enough for them.

They pull faces at me and tell me to buzz off, or screw up their eyes glaring at me.

Worst of all though is when they ignore me altogether, I. laugh end toss my head, pretend 1 don't care one little bit, and say to myself, I CAN DO WITHOUT THEM.

This then is the story of how by chance I overcame this obstacle in my life.

There's lots of girls p1aying skipping, I am sitting on our step watching them play, how I wish they would let me just have one little go.

The little silver bells tinkle on the red handles as the rope is turned, reminding me of xmas and sleigh bells. Angela is skipping in the centre of the rope, smiling as if she is indeed an angel, that`s the pet name her mum calls her.

I know she's no angel, I don't think angels scratch like she did me when once I tried to hold the skipping rope handle for just one minute.

She snatched it away from me and told me to 'hop it'. I pretended not to mind and laughed at her going away hopping as best as I could , hoping she hadn`t seen the tears in my eyes.

If that wasn`t enough the other girls shouted 'BUZZ OFF you're spoiling our game' so I Buzzed, making a sound like Buzz zzzz and hopped away to sit on the step. I am six years old so I mustn`t cry, only babies cry. There's a lump in my throat, and I want to cry, l'm thinking maybe I will waddle up the street and watch the boys at play, I shouldn`t think they would mind would you?

The boys stop their game as I come waddling towards them, one of them has spotted me coming, he shouts to the other boys, 'Look who's coming up our end of the road, its that fat thing Pudding I think the girls call her' their titters filled the air, I could feel myself blushing, going all sorts of red as fingers were pointed at me, 'Look at her waddling we don't want her up here do we chaps?'

(smile, a little voice whispers, pretend you don't hear them) I lean on a garden gate and smile, behind me is a small patch of grass with a big window over looking it. There's people looking out at me, I expect its their gate, and they are wondering if I might break it down with all my weight leaning on it. The boys are playing rounders, one boy is holding the bat in front of the wicket, another has the ball ready to throw ; The boy with the bat hits out as the ball comes pounding towards him, the ball goes flying up the street, the other boy runs like mad to get all round before the ball can be retrieved.

He makes it, they've forgotten all about me now as I lean on the gate clapping and cheering without thinking whether I ought to or not.

What fun these boys games are I 'm thinking, the girls can keep their skipping game for all I care, if only I was a boy and could join in the fun. Just watching makes my heart thump, I want to jump for joy as another boy hits the ball, there is more shouting and cheers, I cheer too, I can't help myself, I jump madly up and down my voice as loud as theirs clapping like mad. One of the boys coming towards me, he is smiling 'You watch young Jack he's the next to bowl, he will beat em, he will knock em for six first go you see.'

Jack certainly meant business, knees bent, swinging the ball to and fro...to and fro....silence so quiet except for the swish of the ball in Jack`s hands any one could hear a pin drop.

The batsman is getting nervous, he is sweating, there is little beads of perspiration shining like the morning dew on his forehead, be wipes his brow on a dirty handkerchief, 'Come on then Jack, lets be having it.' For one moment I see the wicket exposed, I am all tense, I don't pause to think 'NOW' I shout, it`s like a whiplash in the air as the ball comes wizzing like a flash of lightning.

Up and away into the sky goes the ball, all eyes are looking up, no boy is running, it is like we are all mesmerized unable to credit the mighty swipe the batsman gave the ball, only Jack`s found his voice 'Cor love a duck' then a hush as the ball overhead came wizzing toward me and the window behind me.

I have no time to think only act as I stand on tip toe my hands stretching, to breaking point,. upwards I go with all the strength I can muster to stop the ball`s progress into the big window behind me.

Wiz wiz wiz There's a mighty bang as the gate goes crashing to the ground.

My fat legs akimbo, the ball safely in my hands.

The boys are all around me, grinning, cheering, `Hurrah, hurrah, three cheers for Pudding.`

They lift me up off the ground shoulder high, they all start singing 'For she's a jolly good Pudding, For she's a jolly good Pudding For she's a jolly good Pudding, and so say all of us, Hip Hip Hip HURRAY.`

Adults come running out of the house with the big window, 'You saved our window little girl' they say and smile 'You all right dear?` they question.

I've never been righter, I feel all warm and goodie at last it seems I have done something right.

The women are speaking. 'This calls for a celebration let us all go in and have tea and cakes.`

The girls have stopped their games to watch old Pudding. `Will you be one of us Pudding?' It`s Jack speaking.

'We would like you to be one of the team very much wouldn`t we boys?`

'Yes, yes` they all chorus. What does it matter if I am a pudding, I think I like it after all.

GOODBYE, SEE YOU AT THE TOP OF OUR STREET PLAYING ROUNDERS WITH THE BOYS.